Ingesting food as a mental substitute for happiness

    "I have kids, so I am happy", "I have a great job", so I am happy, and I don’t care that I meanwhile look like a hippo. Some say that, but do they really mean it or they say it loud to find a reason, an alibi why they really look fat and ugly? I don’t know how somebody of a family happy can be, but from a job, no way, in the latter I have experience in. A few years later, I read somewhere, that don’t “get married” with your work, cause it won’t bring you no glass of water when you’ll be sick. And so true, it is. But why get sick at first place?
     In our life we the most important thing is, to keep some kind of balance. This is the hardest thing to do. We all have ups and downs. Sadly our mental state does reflect itself on our body, also on our well-being.
     I heard someone, say, that fat people are happy. Great, if they are that happy, why do they eat that much? In the moment they start a diet, don’t seem as happy anymore…does that mean that they were happy at first place? Or that happiness was only related to food? If so, how can somebody, whose happiness depends on only one thing be called happy at all? Feeding is a physiological need, just as going to the toilet or drinking water. Would you call someone happy, who likes to shit?
     Eaters are like smokers or any other addicts. Smokers are often attacked, I don’t even mention drug users. They are scorned, they are all the time spoken against. But what happens with fatness? Yes, we acknowledge that it is unhealthy, we also acknowledge the fact, that would be better not to be obese, but it is still considered to be a tabu in adult conversations. If a group of friends, or just acquaintances, even newly met people allow themselves to take the speech against for example smokers, and immediately someone starts to smoke a cigarette give lecture about how unhealthy that is, but if someone at the table is obese, everybody just shuts up. Nobody would mention the fact, being polite and don’t wanting to hurt the person’s feelings. So, we are allowed to hurt the smoker’s, alcoholic’s and drug user’s feeling, but we are not allowed to hurt the fat guy’s feelings? Because he or she is already in a bad shape or depressive maybe? (This may not be the happy fatty from above) But does anybody think that somebody uses drugs because he’s so hell of a happy guy? Or the difference would be, that on a drug user or alcoholic at first glance you can’t tell which addiction he really has, but on a fat one is clearly visible, that the instrument of addiction is food. Ok… huuuge difference…. At least for our society, it is.
     If we would go harder on it, not with gloves it would be much easier. We wouldn’t torture ourselves as much. We tolerate in this matter just too much. I remember, my mom at every diet I begun, she would make long speeches about how good I look, how my jelly cellulite is normal, my father saying, that what do I want? My ass is just fine, because that is how a woman should look like… with at least 3 stomachs one overflowing the other, and some hips that hang down from every chair, accompanied by a jelly-but?! If we would just as a group, as a society and not just isolated fitness sites recognize that even the puffiness is just not right (don’t necessarily have to be obese) we could treat it much easier. It is not just a “little mistake” we laugh about. I’ve been down on that hill, I know, that 22 pounds can soooo easily turn into 44. You won’t even notice it, and in no time! And how much abstinence, self-denial, will power, stamina, ambition and only God knows what else is needed to shred those piled stones?! It is not a “hihi” or “ups” thing. Some people can destroy their whole life.
      I strongly believe that the matter has net been taken seriously enough. It should be taught in schools, that over-feeding is just like taking heroin. I’ve got “lightening” in school about drugs, but never about food. Neither from my parents, nor from my teachers.
    We must auto-educate ourselves in this matter. And remember, you can only treat a problem, if you recognize at first, that you have one!

Fear

     Fear is the greatest enemy of our happyness. Fear makes us decide hastily and to take the wrong decisions, fear is not a good friend, but like a neighbor from the other flat, who is repairing his apartment on Sunday afternoon, when you would rather lie down and take a nap than listen to the sound of a boring-machine. Fear is forced on you and you have just no escape. At least so it seems.
      When do we have fear anyway?
      We may fear our life, heights, the world crisis, God… but are these the very fears that make the average person’s life miserable? No. Usually not one time, spectacular fears do make us unhappy, but those “non-theatrical” ones, like daily misunderstandings with your co-workers, fear of losing your job, not being able to pay the credit you took from the bank, and so on… These make us nervous, these make us feel unhappy all the time, although they may not let us know that they are causing it. And in the case, when we do know, what makes our life indeed miserable, even than we refuse to take a step towards something else, something new, because we just FEAR. The past in certain, the present is too, but the present already gives us the opportunity. In this moment I can still act. This very moment in which I didn’t act or acted in the same way as I did in the past is a dead moment, and what is even more sad, that it was a wasted moment, which was wasted not toward moving to something better, but paddling in the same swamp we did before.
      A lot of questions may occur. But what is there to do? You can not change your life from one day to another?! What about your family, what about the credit? The only way out is You! The only way out is yourself! Not the credit! Not the boss! Not the husband, children, society, work, love, hate, necessity, friendship, rain, or whatever God created.
      You do know, that God didn’t create all the other things in universe to stop you or anybody else being what they truly are?! You do know that don’t you?! He didn’t create only you as a fact and all the other things in the universe just to bother you. Because that is how in this point looks like. They exist. For the fly that would like to taste from your melon slice, you are the bothering factor. You think wrongly of the fly! We are very egoistic. We do think that the whole universe is around us and there are three categories of things, the first, the best category is to make us happy, the second is to make us feel bad and the third doesn’t interest us at all. Would that be it? That means that most of the existing things are in vain. That would only mean that at least 66 % of all things that surround you have no purpose at all. Well may be, but who decides what is really in vain and what is not. Or when is that decided? Even if you decide it, how would you do that? Because today, you may not need the red shirt, but could you be absolutely shore that you’ll never ever need it? Could it be destroyed? Why don’t you through it away then? Are we happy because we do have that, and gives us another opportunity to maybe use it in the future, or we should destroy it and afterward complain maybe that we can’t wear it anymore? Or you should destroy it, burn it, through it away because otherwise, although you don’t like the red shirt, at a certain point you’ll have to wear it, and so it will keep you buying a new one, that at least for a few moments would make you happy again, thing that the red shirt could never do…because it had its time already.
        Who can say what the right thing is? The neighbor, your mom, boyfriend or the fortune-teller? Nobody, but you. You have to seek and find your answer. Let that be your answer, only yours, and take full responsibility of it. How to find out, what the “real thing” is?
        The only way to find out any answer, is to ask the question. Start asking yourself questions. At first you’ll ask irrelevant ones. But every answer will lead to another question. Dig. Dig in your own mind. This doesn’t happen by itself. Doesn’t happen automatically. You have to use that brain, God gave you, for the purpose which for, it was given to you: and this purpose is not, to make your boss happy with it, but yourself. And it is paradoxical, that although we think that the most part of the universe is actually in vain, we do use our entire knowledge to make other people’s life happier but don’t really use it to make ours “cool”. How does that come?!
        All those studies at school, university or whatever…what do they teach you? Do they teach you how to think for yourself or they just teach you how you should work for somebody? You accumulate just to make it better for mankind? Now…that is what I would call a big bullshit. Mankind is better or is anybody happier because of Van Gogh? Most of us don’t even know who the hell Van Gogh was…and of course they are very far from being happy because of him. Was even he happy because he existed? What is talent for, if we can’t use it to make ourselves happy?! “The first part of our life make our parents miserable, the second our children”… I read this somewhere… when do we live for ourselves? why don't we?